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Dealing with children's social/emotional needs during the coronavirus pandemic

NISD's Director of Guidance and Counseling said talking to your children and acknowledging their feelings is important during this difficult time.

SAN ANTONIO — In the last few weeks, learning has gone beyond the classrooms and into our homes.

Science lessons are now in backyard gardens, art class taking place at the kitchen table, and physical education class could be an open park, garage, or empty parking lot.

“I think families are just learning an extra way to connect, it’s this opportunity to connect differently,” said Mary Libby.

Libby is the Director of Guidance and Counseling at Northside ISD and said it can be a challenge for both children and parents during this time of social distancing and staying at home.

“We're social beings and we're relational beings and our relations have been stifled or cut off,” said Libby.

Another challenge may arise when children are doing their school work through distance learning, while at the same time, parents are trying to work from home.

“Take a deep breath, and allow yourself to be okay with the fact that it’s not going to be perfect,” said Libby.  “I read something recently that we're not really asking parents to be homeschooling parents. We're asking them to do some schooling at home, and so realizing that where you've always partnered as a parent with the school, now that's shifted a little bit, but we're not asking you to be the same as a teacher. We're wanting instruction to continue because it's just good for learning.”

And in a perfect world, parents would be able to work while their children work on their school lessons at the same time.  But, for some parents finding the balance has been a challenge.

“It's not like summer break, it's not like spring break where it's going to come to an end. We don't know when the end is coming, so we don't have to entertain. Let them learn to be okay with being independent,” said Libby.  “It's okay to set up rules around your workspace and it may be even establishing in the home everybody's workspace.”

However, some children may struggle with understanding those boundaries.

“I believe your kids are reaching out to you, not to just distract you, but they need reassurance-- kind of like when you play “It”. You know, you have a home base and that's your safety and they need that reassurance that you're still there,” said Libby.

Libby said that children may be feeling anxiety with the new environment as well.

“I think we really did a disservice to the world by calling it social distancing, it’s physical distancing. But, the social connection has to remain,” said Libby.

She suggests allowing children to participate in monitored playtime on online meeting programs like Zoom.

Many children could also be feeling sad because they miss their teachers and the normalcy of a daily classroom environment.

“It might even be that the students could journal every night and tell their teacher what they did during that day and then when they get back together to be able to share that,” said Libby.

Finally, Libby said it’s important to talk to your children, ask them how they’re feeling and acknowledge those feelings.

“What is it that they're afraid of? Anxiety is fear and worry,” said Libby. “Let them talk about, well, ‘what if you get sick?’ ‘Well, mommy might get sick, but mommy might get sick any day.’”

“So, just acknowledging that there's unsure times. But right now, here we are. And let's do what we can do right now. Just grab on to the hope for today,” she added.

Libby said she also suggests that adults take a minute to step back and acknowledge their own feelings.

“Remind yourself, we're going to get through this moment and it doesn't have to be perfect like we would want it to be. It might be only as it's going to be-- and to extend grace to others, but more importantly, to extend grace to ourselves,” said Libby.

Libby said counselors at Northside ISD are available for children and parents and can be requested through an online request form.

For more information, follow this link.

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