SAN ANTONIO — Love is complicated, which is why KENS5 turned to the real experts to break it down. Digital reporter Jon Coker sat down with three bite-sized matchmakers to get to the bottom of the heart. Kieyen (6), Logan (9), and Maddie (7) schooled us on the sticky topic even sharing the cure to cooties. So, what is love?

Maddie said, “It’s all the things that you care about.” Her brother, Logan, said, “It’s something to not give away,” and Kieyen said simply, “God is love.”

We pressed harder inquiring about relationships when Kieyen insisted that he didn’t have a girlfriend, but he knew exactly how to get one. Off-camera, he shared with KENS5 exclusively how he could even woo M.J., the frequently sought-after love interest from the hit Marvel movie, Spider-man. He hand-wrote a letter that read, “Hi, MJ, I’m yours forever, ‘Spidder man.’”

Many people don’t know where to start, so we asked how one should approach a relationship? Maddie confidently explained that people should never wear stripes and polka dots but encouraged Coker to “dress like a proper man” if he were looking for love. “No awkward jokes,” were the sharp words of wisdom from Logan, who expressed his low tolerance for flirtatious small talk and “Dad” jokes. Failure to abide by these style and communication tips could be lethal to a new relationship according to Maddie and Logan. 

Kieyen’s perspective was much more optimistic. “If you break up with somebody, you have to find another one,” he said, while again insisting that he was single, but masterful about the dating game.

The moment of truth was when we inquired about the cure for cooties. Many children have fallen victim to this epidemic and desperately hope to bounce back. According to these kids, contracting cooties is as easy as an accidental brush of the shoulders during passing period at school or an intentional touch from the opposite sex during a hormone-throttling game of tag.

Thankfully, Logan was able to console thousands of young viewers by sharing that first, “When kids get older, they eventually stop believing in cooties,” and secondly, “If you want to get rid of them, all you have to do is touch somebody else, and give them away.” Whether or not kids begin to want cooties as they transition into their teenage years is a question which remains unanswered by our young experts.

If you have questions and want to hear from our KENS5 Kid experts, click here to message Jon Coker.